Why Is She So Ninny

A parody of the original comic "Why Didn't You Tell Me" by Branca.

This is one of the most hilarious comic Branca made.
Branca discovers that 2-D has got 5 kids and he didn't ever tell her. So she gets angry, she behave childishly, make 2-D feel guilty and then they make peace.
The hilarious thing is, why Branca is so mad about 2-D not having told her he has kids but she is not angry at all about 2-D having had sex with other women? And why should 2-D have had sex with other women if he is forced to love Branca only?
The truth is that Lina discovered 2-D's kids like every other fans and she gets really nuts about it. She messed with dates in order to justify everything, but she actually made an incoherent story.
But she claims being good at making long comics.

If you like horror movies, but they don't scare you anymore and you still want some real terror, you should read the original comic. You can find the first part, the second part and the third part in her site.

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For the last frame in the last panel, I used one of the brilliant gags by Scott Adams. Hail to all the great humoristic comic strippers out there! (and this obviuously does not include Lina)

Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Bad Language

A parody of the original comic "Language Misunderstood" by Branca.

Branca wants to lose weight and she decides to join a gym. But her trainer is a male. This leads to the worst and most flat jealousy plot ever.
According to the author, Branca should teach us how some term sounds in her language (which is portuguese). Sadly, the only terms she knows are vulgarity and cheap insults. Such a nice girl she is!

If you have nothing to do all days but shopping and you spend sundays boring yourself like Lina, instead of fiding yourself a good occupation or at least a decent hobby, you could enjoy the original comic. You can find it here.

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Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Prey of Prejudice

Another parody of the original comic "Sex Exchange" by Branca.

When she want to make a comic about Gorillaz, she only have to think about some cliched "What if", like "What if Gorillaz would be animals?", "What if Gorillaz would be exchanged?", "What if Gorillaz would be women?". You may notice that this practice shows how Branca's immagination is narrow. Gorillaz have a very interesting background full of stories, characters and jokes. But she prefers to ignore all of that and invent something completely out of context. The result is that you can put some other characters in the place of Gorillaz and the comic won't suffer for any change at all.

Also, In this story in particular, Branca shows all her bigotry and her arrogance, claiming once again to teach us how men and women are. Men and women are all like her: ignorant, stupid, whining, arrogant, violent, moody.
If I was one of her fan, I would find this comic offensive, not funny.

If you want to dismiss your partner, but you don't know a good way to tell him/her, make him/her read the original comic. You can find the first part, the second part and the third part in Branca's site.

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Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Born Baby Born

Base on "Baby's Name", the original comic by Branca.

Branca claims she likes baby, because they are cute. So she invented a child for her and 2-D. And here's the story of his birth. Obviously the baby is a boy, because I think that Branca can't stand female human beings (being the obssessed woman she is).
In the story, she involves Gorillaz to find a name for her own son, instead of thinking for herself.

Gorillaz suggest some names like "Nick" or "Ralf", but Branca doesn't like them. She thinks that "Nick" is a gay name (because of Nick Carter, one of the boy-band Backstreet Boys) and "Ralf" seems a dog's name. So she decided for "Alex". Does Lina know that "Alex" is the name of the violent and psycopathic protagonist of the movie "Clockwork Orange" by Stanley Kubrik?

If you like babies, you should stay away from the original comic you can find here or you could change your mind.

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So, she finally have her baby with 2-D. And remember, girls, no one will have a baby with 2-D anymore. Because Alex is the only child 2-D will ever love. Branca has spoken. Period.

Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Pregnancy Fussiness

According to americanbaby.com:

Some researchers argue that cravings aren't connected to nutritional deficiencies -- that they are merely a desire, and nothing more.[...]
It's likely that these cravings are the result of biological as well as psychological and environmental influences. The messages women receive during pregnancy, specifically about what kinds of foods they should eat, may in fact cause them to eat or drink more of those foods [...]
Expectations about getting cravings might also cause them. Anecdotes that you've heard about women eating pickles for breakfast or your friend's description of her nine-month tomato mania may cause you to have some urges of your own. Of course, cravings for indulgent foods might also stem from a license to eat forbidden foods during pregnancy. [...]
It also makes sense that if certain foods are associated with good feelings during pregnancy, you'll eat more of them. [...]

If you don't know anything about maternity and you still don't want to know a damn thing, you should read the original comic. You'll find it here.

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Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Stu Colors

A new parody of the original comic "The True Stu-Pot" by Branca.

In her comic, 2-D had a terrible car accident and become Stu-Pot, a mean, nasty, cheeky and not married man. But the love of Branca and a good dose of violence will rechange the bad Stu-Pot to the sweet and controllable 2-D.

I don't really know where Branca gets the idea that 2-D has lost his memory the first time Murdoc ram on him (the first time they met). The official Gorillaz storyline tells that 2-D entered and then exited a coma, but they don't say anything about amnesia or something like that.
But if it was the case, would it be right to make 2-D live as someone he's not? Shouldn't he recover his memory when he was Stu-Pot and live his own life? Or Branca prefers 2-D because he's sweet, humble and he don't complaint about her lunatic behaviour?

What? You're telling me it's just a fan-fiction and everything I've read isn't real?... Oh, then Lina is not real too, right? What a relief!

If you want to know all the truth about 2-D's past, read the biography on the official Gorillaz site or on Gorillaz-Unofficial.com. And don't take a look at the first part and the second part of the original Branca's comic.

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Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Citizen Branca

Here's a new parody of the original comic "Magazine Cover" by Branca.

Branca discover a photo in a magazine showing 2-D with another girl. And she believes the article who tell 2-D have committed adultery. Because she loves him. If she didn't love him, she would have believed him?

Plus, Gorillaz pursue legal action against the magazine, because that article could ruin her marriage.
And she says she's not egocentric...

If you're a goth and you're searching for new ways of suffering, you should read the original comic. You'll find it here.

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Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Wild Wild Wedding

Here's the parody of "The Marriage", one of the most irritating comics by Branca and a clear icon of her Mary-Sueism.

Without even explaining why, 2-D and Branca marry.
I wonder... why 2-D's parents haven't been invited? That maniac Branca killed them because they were against the marriage?

As you will see in the original comic by Branca, there are a lot of people. They are other deviants who were involved in her delirium. She not only didn't ask permission to do it, but also claimed some of those people being her friends (and they are not).

If you are a masochist and you want to read the original story, you can find in Branca's site the first part and the second part.

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Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

Granny Award

Based on the original comic "Great-Grandmother" by Branca.

Every good Gorillaz' fan know that noone in the band didn't know anything about Noodle's past. Not even noodle herself (she regained her memory later in the Phase Two).
But Branca thought well of inventing a great-grandmother for Noodle. Because she loves to invent new characters and situations for Gorillaz instead on working with what she already has. Like some X-Men's writers who "kill" old characters, because they can't handle them.
Plus, this Branca's comic is set in Phase One, when Noodle can't speak english. Talking about coherency...

If you are one Branca's loyal toadies and you can't survive staying away from her works, you can read the original comic on her site. Here's the first part, the second part and the third part.

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Branca often claims proudly that she is able to make long comics.
It's easy to make long comics, when you focus your attention on every stupid little detail of a situation and don't delevop any plots.
Even if you have nothing to tell, you can tell it again and again.

Gorillaz (c) Bra... sorry... Jamie Hewlett & Damon Albarn
Branca(c) Lina

Who's Fat

Branca/Lina is a superficial person. I can tell that because in all her comics she is always concerned about her look. She always point out how her breast is big, how her legs are beautiful, how her bottom is gorgeous.

But she also knows she is fat. But instead of let it be and ejoy life, she wants everybody to tell her she's not or that she is cute anyway. She also think that slim people are (or should be) jealous of her.
So here's my interpretation of the original comic by Branca.

If you think you're particolary brave and you want to read the original comic, you find it here.

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Beware of people who cannot speak english! One day they'll rule the world... or at least, your favorite rock band.

Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Lina

A New Nightmare At Kong Studios

This is the first comic introducing the character of Mar... Branca in the Gorillaz' universe.
One day, she arrives at Kong Studios all drenched like a little cat, searching a place to spend the night (a lame excuse to show her nipples and her bad taste to the reader). Could Gorillaz refuse to help her? Alas, no!
And here's my personal interpretation of the original comic.

In this and in all other Branca comics you will often see other characters who are not part of the Gorillaz universe. They represent other innocent artists on DeviantArt who Branca involved in her delirium without asking their agreement.
(In my parodies I call them "imaginary friends" because Branca thinks they are her friends but it's just her fantasy).

If you want to know what I'm speaking about, you can go on Branca's site. You can find the original comic, divided in part one and part two.

Bad english is just one way to pay homage to the original author of the story.

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Gorillaz (c) Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn
Branca (c) Branca ...or Lina... or... well, forget it